


Uncharted Territory

by jcknwng



Series: All This Bad Blood [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Blood, CCG Inspectors, Character Death, F/F, Ghouls, Implied Relationships, M/M, Mild Gore, Multi, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Tokyo Ghoul AU, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-14 08:16:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5736301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jcknwng/pseuds/jcknwng
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is tough when you're a ghoul. It gets even tougher when your best friend and part time lover becomes a CCG inspector who doesn't <i>know</i> you're a ghoul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Haunt

**Author's Note:**

> I have promised that I would revisit my Tokyo Ghoul!Haikyuu AU and I have finally gotten around to it! This fic had been very carefully planned and I will keep to updating this as much as I possibly can. As with most of my works, I have relied heavily on head canons in certain parts of this fic, but I have also tried to keep as canonically accurate with Tokyo Ghoul as I possibly can. 
> 
> I want to thank [freakofnature](http://archiveofourown.org/users/freakofnature) for helping me a great deal with the planning of this fic and for making me believe that I can do it. 
> 
> And as always, I am grateful for any comments, especially those with words of advice because I'm still learning! This fic is the first time I have written 3/4 of the characters tagged so there's every possibility that they will be somewhat OOC. I'm trying my best!

“I’m joining the CCG, Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi was half asleep when Oikawa had spoken. The words left his lips like he’d just told Iwaizumi he was going to cook ramen for dinner. Iwaizumi didn’t respond, focusing entirely on the movement of Oikawa’s fingers against his skin instead. “I know you’ve always said it was dangerous, but I’ve thought about it a lot.” Oikawa continued, fingertips running along Iwaizumi’s collarbone. “I promise to always come back safe and sound.” His gaze met Iwaizumi’s, and the latter forced a smile. He wished that was the only reason he was struggling to keep himself calm. Heck, he’d have joined with Oikawa in hopes to keep him safe. But there was one small hurdle stopping him from doing so.

Iwaizumi, unbeknownst to Oikawa, was a ghoul. 

It was a secret that he’d wished to share on a number of occasions. There’d just never been a right moment - something had always happened that had stopped him being able to come clean. So he just hadn’t. They still met for lunch, still spent hours watching movies in Oikawa’s apartment, and Iwaizumi still allowed himself the luxury of getting to know every extra intimate detail of Oikawa’s body from time to time. From an outsider looking in, and definitely from Oikawa’s point of view, they were nothing but two typically human friends who occasionally slept together. 

“You’re too stubborn to die, Tooru.” Iwaizumi whispered, brushing Oikawa’s bangs from his eyes. “Especially at the hands of a ghoul.” His fingers trailed over the pale skin of Oikawa’s cheek. They’d grown up together, and Oikawa had always been indifferent about ghouls. He’d even felt sorry for them at times. But when he’d returned from college, he’d changed. He refused to tell Iwaizumi the details behind this, so Iwaizumi had stopped asking. 

“Mmm, that’s true!” Oikawa agreed, burying his face into Iwaizumi’s neck. “I’ll show them all not to mess with me.” Iwaizumi knew it was sleepy talk, but there was a certain amount of sincerity to his tone. Whatever had happened had seriously impacted Oikawa’s attitude towards ghouls. That in itself was slightly terrifying. In his experience, once Oikawa had set his mind on something, he would follow through to the best of his ability. Even, and especially, if it meant putting his own life at risk to do so. 

“I should probably get going. I promised Makki I’d give him a hand cleaning.” He tried to ignore the way Oikawa’s grip on him tightened. Truthfully, Iwaizumi needed to think about his next steps. Could they still do this, with Iwaizumi knowing that there was every possibility that they’d one day meet on different terms? “I’ll take you out for dinner soon.” It was a promise he hoped he could keep. 

Oikawa spent another half hour trying to convince Iwaizumi to stay, but eventually let him leave. The journey home didn’t offer him any sort of solution. Makki and Mattsun weren’t much help when he returned back at the apartment, either.

\--

“He’s joining the CCG?” 

“No, he’s already _joined_ the CCG.” Iwaizumi explained before bringing his mug of coffee to his lips and taking a sip. It had been six weeks since Oikawa had blurted out his plans, and it hadn't gotten any easier.

“Damn, that's rough buddy.” 

He shrugged his shoulders, eyes trained on the dark brown liquid in his cup. 

“Whatcha gonna do, Hajime?” He turned to Bokuto, who was perched on the stool beside him, cross legged and somehow balanced. He answered with another shrug. The truth was - he didn’t _know_ what he was going to do. “I’ll probably do nothing.” He admitted after a long pause. Bokuto’s eyebrows rose and he shot a glance at Kuroo who had stopped wiping down the counter. 

“Nothing?” It was Kuroo who spoke now. Iwaizumi felt uneasy as he met Kuroo’s gaze. He was always so hard to read. Iwaizumi couldn’t tell if he was silently judging him or not. 

“Isn't that going to be tricky? Aren't you guys in love, or something?” Bokuto spoke before he could reply. 

Iwaizumi felt his cheeks flush - Iwaizumi was still very much in love with Oikawa Tooru. He pushed his cup towards Kuroo. “I don't know. It's complicated..” Iwaizumi shrugged. 

“Oikawa-san is to Iwa what Mattsun is to me.” He hadn't even heard Makki approach them “Only... their sex is sans blood.” 

Kuroo’s face twisted in disgust and he grabbed Iwaizumi’s half empty cup before retreating to the kitchen. Bokuto snorted, unfolding his legs from underneath him and pushing himself to stand. He placed his hands on his hips, a grin spreading across his lips. “Well I think it’s like Bella and Edward - 'and so the Ghoul fell in love with the CCG Inspector'.” Iwaizumi pulled a face but Bokuto ignored the glare. “The only way they can be truly happy is to elope. So tragic and beautiful.” 

“Tragic and _brooding_.” Makki pointed out. “But don’t get any ideas about fleeing with Oikawa.” He took Iwaizumi’s arm, gently tugging him from his stool and towards their regular booth. Mattsun didn’t look up from the menu as they took their seats.

“After much deliberation. I’m having coffee.” Mattsun placed the menu back on the table. He wore the same bored expression as always. 

“I want beef burgers.” Makki grinned, pulling the menu towards him.

“No.” 

Iwaizumi and Mattsun spoke in unison. Makki frowned at each of them in turn. He was a mystery that Iwaizumi had given up on a long time ago. There was so much about his friend that was left untold. He didn’t hide anything, but Iwaizumi still felt that he only knew half of the person Makki was. 

“Iwa gets to eat burgers. What’s the di-” 

“The difference is that I don't have to rub Iwa’s back at 3am while he throws up rancid meat.” Mattsun retorted. Despite this being true, Makki still continued to pout about it. And he didn’t stop pouting while he drank the coffee Mattsun ordered for him. Or during the conversation he held with Kuroo. He was even still pouting on the way home, though he still laced his fingers with both Iwaizumi and Mattsun. It wasn’t until they were home, and he was cuddling against Mattsun on the sofa, that he stopped pouting. But that might have been because he’d fallen asleep.

\--

Sleep had never been something that Iwaizumi struggled with. He'd always been able to shut off his thoughts long enough to fall into a slumber. For the past few weeks, this hadn't quite been the case. His mind was working overtime, going over the conversations with Oikawa, conversations where he spoke about ghouls as though they were the scum of the earth. Iwaizumi had always known Oikawa was passionate, but it didn't make the insults any easier to listen to. He'd had to grin and deal with it, pretend that he agreed when all he wanted to do was cry and yell and come clean about the fact he was what Oikawa was ranting about. He didn't kill for fun. He _wasn't_ an animal. 

Tonight was the worst, though. Oikawa had phoned him later than usual and explained that he was doing some sort of overnight patrol with 2 other CCG guys who were meant to be the 'real deal'. He was excited - Iwaizumi was uneasy. They'd ended the call with Iwaizumi making Oikawa promise to call him when he got home. While he'd promised he wouldn't worry too much, it was easier said than done. 

After tossing and turning for a good two hours, he'd ventured out of his bedroom to get coffee and do laundry. He wasn't going to fall asleep so he might as well make himself useful while Makki and Mattsun were sleeping. While the coffee brewed, he loaded the washing machine. He pressed 'start' just as the coffee machine signalled that it was finished. Iwaizumi poured himself a cup of the hot liquid, taking a small sip and letting out a sigh as it warmed his body. He leaned against the counter, closing his eyes while he listened to the soft hum of the washing machine. 

The quiet was broken by the sound of a creaking door. Iwaizumi opened his eyes and turned his head to see Makki leaving his bedroom. He was sporting one of Mattsun's shirts which was only just too big for him. "What are you doing up?" He asked, rubbing at his eyes as he made his way to stand beside Iwaizumi. 

"Oikawa." Iwaizumi shrugged, grateful that Makki didn't push for any more information. Instead he laced his fingers with Iwaizumi's free hand, squeezing it gently. 

"Think of it this way -" Makki started. "You're here, the Tree don't have anything planned. I'm here - I don't have anything planned."

Iwaizumi had to admit that this did relax him slightly. The Tree held the most powerful ghouls in the Ward, and they were all far from where Oikawa currently was. And if the Clowns had anything planned then there was no way Makki would still be here. He smiled as Makki pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

"Thank you." Makki rolled his eyes at the gratitude. 

"Put the coffee down, we're going back to bed." 

Iwaizumi did as he was told and placed his cup onto the counter, allowing himself to then be led back into his bedroom. He still didn't sleep, but he felt safer with Makki curled up beside him. 

Tomorrow would come sooner if he fell asleep. He didn't know when he finally dozed off, just that it was due to promising himself he would see Oikawa again.


	2. Burden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3

Oikawa hadn't called when he said he would. He hadn't had the decency to let Iwaizumi know that he was still alive and it was difficult to not feel completely pissed off about it. When he'd eventually received a call from Oikawa, it was so they could make plans to meet up at their usual cafe. Iwaizumi had suggested that they meet at Kuroo's place instead. Honestly, he hadn't known what was going through his head at the time but now that he was sat at one of the empty booths, waiting for Oikawa to arrive, he wanted to kick himself for being so foolish. Since joining the CCG, Oikawa had found it difficult to hold his tongue, or at least keep his voice at a respectful volume. If he decided to start throwing his usual insults around in a place practically bursting at the seems with ghouls, he could quite literally be dead meat.

Iwaizumi stood, unlocking his phone and pulling up Oikawa's contact number. Of course he was too late though. "Are you standing me up, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa's voice was bright and happy. Like usual. It made Iwaizumi's cheeks flush. He returned his phone to his pocket, eyes giving Oikawa the once over. There was an unsightly scratch trailing down his neck - Iwaizumi wasn't sure how far it went - and a newly blossomed bruise on his collarbone, only partly showing thanks to his shirt. "They're just training scratches. Nothing for you to worry about." Oikawa put his hand up to rest against Iwaizumi's own. Iwaizumi hadn't even realised he'd raised it. 

"I forgot that the coffee here isn't great. We should go." But Oikawa was already sitting down. He let out a deep sigh as he stretched his legs under the table.

"It's incredibly busy in here and you want me to think this place sells bad coffee? Iwa-chan, _please_." Iwaizumi glanced towards the counter, where Kuroo was stood talking to another ghoul - Kiyoko. They scanned the room. There were more ghouls than humans here right now, but most of them were ones Iwaizumi would particularly consider dangerous. He reluctantly sat down. "What's wrong? You seem more on edge than normal." Oikawa's voice was full of concern. Iwaizumi shook his head as he met Oikawa's gaze. 

He smiled, a forced one which he'd managed to perfect. They were more believable than Oikawa's fake smiles, so the other male never seemed to notice. As upsetting as it was for Iwaizumi, he'd got lying to Oikawa down to a tee. "Just tired, is all." Oikawa accepted this with a nod.

"Daichi-san and Suga-san are really impressed with me." Oikawa didn't know how to ease into a conversation, he preferred to go for broke. "I'm not surprised, I've worked the hardest out of all the rookies." It didn't really mean much to Iwaizumi. All of these ranks and labels were, in his eyes, levels of ability to murder his friends. Oikawa would soon get one of those, and Iwaizumi would know for certain just how dangerous he was. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. 

"Good afternoon! Welcome to Nekom- Oh! Iwaizumi-san! Hi!" Iwaizumi glanced up at the blonde who was stood at their table. Her smile was wide and it met her eyes. 

"Hitoka, hey. How are you feeling?" 

"Oh- Uh- Much better, thank you! Glad to be back." Yachi cleared her throat before speaking again. "What can I get for both of you?" 

"Two coffees, please." Iwaizumi smiled at her as she nodded and wrote down his order. She disappeared seconds later, and Iwaizumi returned his gaze to Oikawa, who was staring at him with a smirk on his face.

"What?" 

"Do you have an admirer, Iwa-chan? Should I be jealous?" 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "No. Hitoka is Shimizu's girlfriend." Iwaizumi gestured to the counter, where Yachi had wandered to. She was stood beside Kiyoko, having handed the order to Kuroo. Oikawa hummed.

"Shame. She's cute." 

Of course she was. But Iwaizumi liked his head, and Kiyoko was more than capable of removing it with one finger. Anyone who valued their life knew that. 

Neither of them spoke until Hitoka had brought over their coffees. She wished them a good day before rushing to another table. 

"Oh - while I remember. I've been put on another patrol with Daichi and Suga for tomorrow. There's been some gang activity that we have to check out." Iwaizumi froze. He tried to think about whether the Tree had anything planned, or whether Makki and The Clowns had done anything lately. He couldn't think of anything. 

"I'll be sure to stay inside." 

"And I'll be sure to stay alive." Oikawa grinned. The words didn't have the same effect this time. Oikawa was too close to home.

They stayed at the cafe for a few more hours. Oikawa managed to keep his insults to a minimum, and at a low volume. Iwaizumi changed the subject on more than one occasion, but it always returned to ghouls and the CCG. Iwaizumi walked Oikawa home before returning to his own apartment. 

\--

Iwaizumi had come home to a lot of things. He'd walked in on Makki and Mattsun covered in blood, feeding each other pieces of human flesh. He'd walked in on Mattsun screwing Makki on the table (usually covered in blood). He'd walked in on things that had scarred him for life and things that he would never be able to forget. But the one thing he'd never walked in on was an untidy apartment.

Makki, despite his immense love for all things bloody and messy, never allowed the apartment to become _untidy_. 

Concern swept over Iwaizumi when he saw that there were pillows on the floor, broken glass scattered over the floor and fruit from the fruit bowl strewn around the room. He ventured further in, fully ready to take down whoever it was that had put the apartment so out of place. As soon as he reached the kitchen, he relaxed - a little.

Makki was sat cross-legged on the kitchen floor, fingers that held strips of flesh painted with blood. Makki looked up at Iwaizumi, eyes wide, but Iwaizumi was more interested in the mess of blonde hair that sat across from him. "Busted!" Makki laughed, holding out the flesh and grinning as the unnamed figure snatched it from his fingers. "Iwa, this is Mad Dog." 

" _Mad Dog_?" Upon hearing his name, he turned around and stared at Iwaizumi. In a swift second, he understood why he held such a name. His face was _dirty_ and Iwaizumi wanted to ask if he'd been rolling around in the dirt to get so mucky - but as he bared his teeth in what was probably meant to be a smile, Iwaizumi thought better of it. His lips were stained with blood. 

"I found him asleep outside." 

"You- Do you _know_ him?" 

"I know he likes meat. Don't you, Mad Dog?" He twisted his gaze away from Iwaizumi to look at Makki again, and Iwaizumi could see the pull of his cheeks as he grinned. Iwaizumi was definitely not hearing this, definitely not _seeing_ it. His roommate had literally taken this guy off the streets? And was _feeding_ him? 

"Makki..." 

"Chill, of course I know him." Makki held out his hand to Mad Dog, who ran his tongue over slender fingers, lapping up the remains of blood. Makki didn't seem to mind as he nipped at the flesh on his fingers. Iwaizumi felt sick at the sight of it. "Well, I mean, sort of. I don't know much _about_ him, but he shows up like twice a year. He hasn't for a while, though." Makki was focused on Mad Dog, spit covered fingers running along the ghoul's jawline, as though he was stroking him. 

"You're fucking weird." Iwaizumi frowned at him, but all he did was laugh as he pushed himself to his feet. Mad Dog stayed settled on the floor, reaching out to grip the empty boxes that had once held flesh. 

"You're highly strung, Iwa. What's wrong?" Makki pressed a kiss to his nose, making Iwaizumi's tension dissipate somewhat. He hated that. 

"Nothing - are the Clowns planning anything tonight?" 

The question caught Makki off guard and he stepped back, raising a brow. It was a question that was never asked in the apartment. There was an unwritten rule that Makki wouldn't share any plans of the Clowns and he and Mattsun wouldn't say anything about the Tree. "Oikawa's on patrol, or whatever, that's all." Iwaizumi was grateful when Makki shook his head. 

He allowed himself to be pulled towards the sofa, leaving Mad Dog to lick the boxes clean. It was disgusting, so he was more than happy to be pulled away. He sank into the cushions and didn't budge as Makki straddled him, hands resting on his shoulders. "Oikawa can take care of himself." Makki pointed out. Iwaizumi was aware that he could, to some extent. 

"I know. It's only like when I worry about you." 

Makki chuckled, leaning forward so his lips were by Iwaizumi's ear. "You should worry about yourself, boy." He mumbled, brushing his lips over Iwaizumi's ear lobe, sending shivers down his spine. Makki pressed kisses along Iwaizumi's jaw before reaching his lips. Makki's phone ringing interrupted their kiss. He pulled back to answer it instantly. Iwaizumi frowned as Makki's expression became troubled.

"Slow down, Kuroo. What do you mean Kenma's in trouble?"


	3. Attachment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this went somewhere? AKA the dialogue chapter???

"Seriously though, what the _fuck_ Kuroo?" 

"I didn't know what to do!"

"You're meant to be supreme ghoul scare-king and you _didn't know what to do_." 

"Hey! I'm only ghoul scare-king for dramatic effect!"

"You're a fucking idiot."

"Yeah, well... Takes one to know one." 

"Will you both shut the fuck up?" 

Makki and Kuroo stopped yelling at each other and turned to Iwaizumi. He had listened to them arguing ever since he and Makki had arrived at the apartment. Sure, the reason Kenma was 'in trouble' was ridiculous and definitely not worth a worried phone call to Makki, but at the same time, _this was Kuroo_. Kuroo who became concerned if Kenma did so much as _sneeze_. 

Iwaizumi had to admit that if he'd come home to Kenma throwing one of his games consoles at the wall and yelling obscenities at nothing, he'd be concerned too. Maybe not 'ring Hanamaki Takahiro' concerned, but still. By the time they'd arrived, Kenma had calmed down and was settled in his spot on the sofa watching some weird fantasy anime. He didn't look like he was in trouble. 

He dropped onto the sofa beside Kenma, running a hand through his hair and letting out a deep sigh. Sometimes it was more stressful being friends with Makki and Kuroo than it was being friends with a damn CCG inspector. 

"You're still an idiot, Kuroo." Makki mumbled as he retreated to the lounge, settling himself on the arm chair across next to Iwaizumi. Kuroo scoffed, looking as though he wanted to restart their argument from earlier. After a quick glance from Iwaizumi, he decided against it. It was a little strange, considering how much higher Kuroo was on the deathly-scale. But Iwaizumi didn't mind the small flood of power. 

"Anyway - while we're here, we might as well fry some big fish." 

"Gross. What fish?" Kuroo seated himself on the floor in front of Kenma. 

"Oikawa Tooru." Makki smiled, gaze meeting Iwaizumi's. "The CCG in general, but mainly Iwa's boy toy. Don't bother denying it, Iwa." 

He didn't.

"Okay, well what's going on?"

"Apparently they've spotted activity, or something. Now the Clowns are wonderfully private, so it must be one of your guys." The words seemed to strike a match in Kuroo and he glared at Makki. 

"Are you suggesting my boys are reckless?"

"I'm merely stating a fact about _my_ boys." 

"If Mattsun and Iwaizumi weren't so fond of you, I'd-"

"It could be neither." It was Kenma who spoke this time. He closed the lid of his laptop and set it to one side, interest piqued by the conversation. "Tobio and Shouyou have been back for a while." Kenma offered, idly twisting a strand of Kuroo's hair around his finger. 

Nobody spoke for a moment. Tobio and Shouyou were once part of the CCG's Quinx Squad. Little was really known about how or why they left, but they often described themselves as rogues. Not a ghoul but not quite human either, they didn't seem to go by any sort of rules. They did what they wanted, and as long as they had each other, nothing else mattered. There was a time when Makki had taken Shouyou under his wing, but that was a few years ago, nobody had seen or heard from them since. 

"Either way, we're safe if we're sensible." Kenma released Kuroo's hair and returned his laptop to his knees, opening it and continuing the show he was watching. Makki had relaxed, and so had Kuroo. A little.

"Well they don't know the meaning of subtle. So it could be them." 

"See, this is why the Tree is smarter than you Clowns." 

"I'll murder you right here, right now, Tetsurou."

"I'm quaking."

"I'm gonna fucking murder you both."

Iwaizumi pushed himself to his feet without another word and left the apartment before either of them could speak again. 

\--

Iwaizumi had left Makki back at Kuroo's place. He couldn't be dealing with the constant battle between them - not tonight. When he'd returned back at the apartment, it was cleaner than before. Mattsun had obviously returned and attempted to put the place back in some order. Mad Dog was still here, settled happily on the sofa beside Mattsun. He was in fresh clothes and his face no longer held smudges of dirt and God only knew what else. Mattsun looked away from Mad Dog for a moment. 

"Oikawa will be fine, Hajime." Iwaizumi had been staring at his phone, twisting it in his hands. On his way back from Kuroo's, he'd thought about calling Oikawa while he walked, wanting to double check that things were fine. He hadn't, of course. He was likely to not get a response anyway. "I know how you feel. I get the same anxiety when Hiro goes out with the Clowns." 

Mattsun was a man of very few words and as cliche as it sounded, the few words he spoke were usually important. Iwaizumi often forgot that the bond between Makki and Mattsun was as strong as the bond between himself and Oikawa. He returned his gaze to Mad Dog. The conversation wouldn't continue, because it didn't need to. 

\--

It was late when Iwaizumi finally started to fall asleep. He'd been worrying about Oikawa all night, despite Mattsun's calming words. Makki had returned and gone straight to bed. Mattsun had followed, leaving Mad Dog asleep on the sofa. He'd grown used to the other ghoul. Sure, he was a little strange. He didn't really speak to anyone except Makki but Iwaizumi couldn't imagine he'd know what to say anyway. 

He didn't know how long he'd closed his eyes for when his phone started to ring. At first, it hadn't registered that it was his phone until it went off for the third time. 

"Yeah?" 

"Iwa-chan." 

Iwaizumi sat up almost instantly, ignoring the head rush he got as he moved too quickly. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

A breathy chuckle at the other end of the line made him a little angry. "Iwa-chan, I'm fine. I just wanted to hear your voice." 

Iwaizumi relaxed, laying back down beneath the blankets. "That's gross."

"Mmmm - what've you been doing?"

"Nothing much, it's been a quiet day, really. How'd the patrol go?" 

"Fine, fine!" 

"But?"

"No buts! It was a little boring." He could hear the sigh in Oikawa's voice and he almost didn't want to answer. What would Oikawa even say if he knew his best friend (and part time fuck buddy) was a ghoul? How would he feel to know that he'd been intimate with such an animal? 

"Well there can't be many ghouls here then." 

"Thankfully! The thought makes me cringe." Iwaizumi flinched, and was glad that Oikawa couldn't see him. 

"Let me take you for lunch tomorrow." 

"Ahh yay, Iwa-chan! I go for lunch at twelve. Pick me up then?" 

"It's a date."

Oikawa laughed, but it was cut short with a yawn. 

"Go to sleep, Tooru." 

"Mmm, soon." 

The conversation only lasted for a few more minutes before Iwaizumi heard the gentle snoring on the other end of the line. It had been a while since they'd had a call like that. Iwaizumi missed it. He hung up and placed his phone under his pillow, closing his eyes. 

He slept soundly for the rest of the night, thanks to the soft sound of Oikawa's voice thrumming in the back of his mind.


	4. Hunted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to give a bit of an insight into Oikawa's side of things because he is still Oikawa, afterall. If there was no internal battle, then it wouldn't be in character.. Enjoy..

"Have you done that paperwork, Tooru?" 

Oikawa looked up from his mobile, gaze meeting Sawamura's. He looked annoyed and Oikawa tried to think whether he'd done anything to put his superior in such a mood. He hadn't. Oikawa placed his phone on his desk, pushing a file towards the other male. At this, Sawamura's features softened and he offered a smile.

"Brilliant, thank you." He picked up the file and flicked through it, only leaving after he'd repeated the action three times. Sawamura Daichi, his mentor, was a stickler for things being completed properly. His partner, Koushi Sugawara, often teased him for it. Oikawa figured he was lucky to have two perfectly in tune mentors. They'd taught him a lot in the short time that he'd been there. 

Oikawa glanced back down at his phone when the room was quiet again, eyes scanning over his latest reply from Iwaizumi. It had been a few weeks since they'd last met up, and Oikawa had cut it short because of work. He couldn't shake the look in his friend's eyes as he'd left the cafe, a ghost of panic and concern that could only be seen by someone who knew him as intimately as Oikawa did. He knew his friend wasn't overly happy about Oikawa's allegiance with the CCG, but he didn't understand. And Oikawa could never share that horror story. He couldn't relive it. 

He tapped a quick reply to Iwaizumi, a hollow promise that he was sleeping fine. It was easier to text lies to Iwaizumi than it was to say them to his face. He smiled as he got a response almost instantly - a smiley face and a few kisses. He would try to make good on his promise tonight. 

\--

Oikawa wondered if all CCG inspectors felt the way he did when they went home. If they all felt a crippling sense of guilt as they thought about what they'd done that day, the people they'd killed and the pain they'd caused. He wondered if they, like he, had once pitied ghouls and wanted to help them. He wondered if they'd always had hate scratched into their DNA or if they'd witnessed something so vile and terrifying that it had changed their opinions too.

He wondered if they slept easy at night, or if they tossed and turned because the memories of that day were too bright. Were they forced awake at 4am every morning by their own sobs which caused their bodies to shake?

He had recently become used to getting through the day on less than three hours sleep, loaded on bitter coffee and ready meals. His apartment which had once been full of laughter was a shell. An unused oven, a bed that was barely slept in, a dining table that never got used. He'd stopped putting the television on in his third week, the constant reminders of what _he_ had done, proving to be too difficult. 

He pulled his blankets over his head in an attempt to suffocate the reruns in his head. Like an episode reminder, replaying constantly in his mind. The face of a ghoul before he killed them, their cries, them begging for their lives. It was useless. The memories came faster and the buzzing got louder. He pushed the blankets from his body, soft fabric irritating him more than it should. He pushed his hair from his face, unsurprised and unfazed as his hand came back wet. Wet from tears and sweat. 

He couldn't sleep. He settled for making coffee instead.

\--

"Oikawa-san, you look awful. You should go home." Sugawara's voice dragged Oikawa back to reality. He blinked away his daze before staring at his mentor. His expression was sympathetic, his usually bright smile masked with concern that Oikawa felt was forced. But maybe he was just that tired. He shook his head, though, waving his hand as though he was brushing off Sugawara's words. 

"I'm fine," he forced a smile. Suga didn't seem to buy it, but he didn't push.

"Well then make sure you pay attention during the brief. We're out again tonight." His tone held the usual polite threat that it always did, sweet as honey but with the sharpness of a thousand knives. In short, you didn't disobey Sugawara Koushi if you knew what was good for you. 

Oikawa nodded before leaving to load himself with more coffee. He'd be fine once he was geared up and they were out.

\--

He'd showered four times before he felt clean, and he was still itching. The night had been messy and he was so close to breaking down that he'd had to excuse himself after the threat was removed. The threat which had cried and screamed and begged for them to go away. The threat which had only attempted to harm them when it was backed into a corner. The threat which didn't look like a threat. 

Oikawa had pulled on his comfiest clothes - one of Iwaizumi's hoodies and his jogging bottoms. He'd wanted to wrap himself in everything that was soft and comforting, that would make him feel like he was back in the safety of high school. The smell of Iwaizumi was soothing, though it was faint and fading, it still managed to wrap around Oikawa and cling to him. He attempted to sleep. But he was woken up by his own crying somewhere past 5am and he didn't even bother trying to go back to sleep.

He phoned Iwaizumi, but cancelled it on the second ring. 

The call was returned within minutes of him putting his phone down.

"Are you okay?"

He smiled.

"Of course, Iwa-chan." 

"What's up?" He felt Iwaizumi's relief as clear as a sigh.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get used to seeing this side of 6. What are you doing?" The familiar hint of annoyance was warming to Oikawa.

"Thinking too much about silly things."

"I always warned you that thinking was dangerous." 

"I'm sorry for waking you, Iwa-chan."

"Something's definitely wrong if _you're_ apologising." 

"I miss waking up next to you." 

There was silence. Oikawa bit his lip as he waited for Iwaizumi's reply. It had been a while since that had happened. The last time was probably after his first week as a CCG inspector. After that, something had always come up. Iwaizumi always had to be somewhere else or Oikawa was always too busy. 

"Soon, yeah?" 

Oikawa would take it. 

\--

He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed genuinely, or the last time he'd smiled at someone without having to bribe his face muscles with the promise of a whole evening of no movement. But, until now, he also couldn't remember the last argument he'd had with Iwaizumi. 

He should have known that it would come, though.

The night had gone as usual. They'd ordered food in, eaten and cuddled. Cuddles had led to sex and sex had led to more cuddles. They were both settled in Oikawa's bed, limbs tangled around each other. It was the first time in a while that Oikawa had felt _comfortable_. The content, safe buzz had lasted all of ten minutes before he went and put his foot in it. 

He'd mentioned something about ghouls, without thinking. Because that was where their conversations usually ended up. When Iwaizumi had let out a sigh. It was a sigh full of annoyance and frustration and unspoken, conflicting opinions. Oikawa knew Iwaizumi well enough to figure that out. When he'd asked what was wrong, he'd expected to get a typical response that would explain nothing but still give Oikawa the answers he was looking for. Instead, he got an unveiled reply about how Oikawa constantly talking about ghouls and how they were animals was tiring. Of course Oikawa had argued back, and they'd ended up throwing insults at each other. Iwaizumi had pulled his clothes on and left, with no sign that he would be returning anytime soon. 

Oikawa had stared at the door for a long time. And then he'd cried. The sobs hurt his chest and made his throat sore, like they were scraping at the sides as they left his mouth. He cried until he started choking on his sobs. The hiccups kicked in soon after, adding to the throbbing pain in his chest. He cried until there were no tears left and his sobs were just strangled noises. He cried until he couldn't anymore.

And then he fell silent, buried under his blankets, staring at the door as though he was watching his world slip through cracks in the wood. 

He didn't know when his exhaustion forced him into an uncomfortable sleep, but he welcomed it with open, aching arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me.


	5. Tripping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so delayed! I've been in a writing slump for the past week because work is kicking my butt. But I hope this is enough to get you through until the next update!! (The wait for 6 won't be very long)

Weeks had passed with little to no word from Oikawa. Iwaizumi didn't blame him, of course. They'd both acted irrationally but Iwaizumi had been the one to start it all, he'd been stressed and Oikawa had hit a nerve. The brief communication he did have with Oikawa was minimal. A quick text every now and then, saying that he was still alive. Iwaizumi returned the texts, but they never went any further. 

A lot had happened since their argument. Kageyama and Hinata had returned and were currently staying in his apartment, thanks to Makki's excitement at getting to 'play with Hinata again'. Iwaizumi didn't ask - Makki didn't tell. He'd only met the two once, but they hadn't really changed. Hinata still bounced off the walls and got erratically happy over the smallest things. He spent most of his time watching Makki prepare meat. Kageyama was a little more reserved, though. He barely spoke and became rigid whenever Makki would be his usual self around Hinata. It was interesting to watch. Almost as interesting as watching Kageyama and Hinata together. They fit each other perfectly, their actions reflecting and complimenting the other. It was like they were two pieces of a jigsaw that just meshed so naturally. 

Iwaizumi found himself around Kuroo's more often than not. Mad Dog was still staying with them, which made it difficult to lock yourself away and just _think_. But when he was at Kuroo's, he could sit and relax without disturbance. It also meant that he was savvy to a lot of the conversations that went on while he wasn't there. The Tree, excluding himself and Matsukawa, lived together. They would often make the plans and relay them back later. Being around so much meant he got the conversations first hand.

They'd finally managed to get all of the plans together to scope out the Cochlea. It had always been a pipe dream of the Tree's to break in and free the ghouls inside. A lot of them were friends, ghouls that spent their lives trying to blend in. The thought of them being locked up made Iwaizumi feel sick to the stomach. 

He zipped up his jacket, flicking the hood over his head in a swift movement. "Mattsun's going to meet us there." 

Kuroo turned to face him, mask already covering his mouth. "Awesome. Put your mask on now, Hajime." It was an order, though it didn't sound like one. The masks were all made by Makki - without specification because he preferred to flow with his masks. Kuroo's covered only his mouth and was decorated with fangs and a cat nose. On paper, it sounded ridiculous. But matched with the wild bed hair and deep red eyes, it somehow screamed intimidation. Kenma's covered his face fully and matched Kuroo's in the sense that it was a cat.

Iwaizumi pulled on his mask - plain and simple, much like himself. The only details were two eyes, a nose and a mouth. Makki had tried to create it with Iwaizumi's need to blend in, in mind. He thought it suited him perfectly. "Mad Dog's there too." It was Akaashi who spoke now, joining the rest of them by the door. Akaashi's mask was completely blank, save for a wide grinning mouth. Bokuto was trailing behind, his mask in his hand. 

"Why's Mad Dog coming? He's not in the Tree." Bokuto pulled on his mask before running his hand through his hair, forcing it to point upwards. It matched his owl mask, which looked spiky in every way, shape and form. "We're not babysitters." 

"Makki asked." Kuroo shot him a look, which instantly put the matter to bed. Iwaizumi suddenly felt tense - if Kuroo was serious, it meant everyone was. "Right. Let's go." 

\--

As if they knew. As if there was someone waiting there, expecting them to show up. Iwaizumi tried not to think about how Mattsun had made himself a barrier between him and a CCG inspector at one point. He tried not to think about how Makki would struggle to forgive him if the love of his life was killed protecting him. He'd tell Mattsun off for that later. 

The thing he was trying not to think about the most was the fact that Oikawa was there. 

Anger and hatred in his eyes, eyes that looked like they hadn't seen sleep for weeks. He was bruised and battered and was probably even more worse for wear now. It hurt to watch Oikawa fight against his friends, and it hurt even more knowing that he could kill them without a second thought. But then there was also the potential of losing Oikawa. Of watching one of his closest friends drive their kagune through his heart. They could kill him in a heartbeat, and he knew that. The thought turned his stomach and he felt like throwing up for the sixth time that night. 

They'd not wanted a fight, but they'd had one anyway. They had a lucky escape, but a short-lived mission. 

"Fucking _assholes_." Iwaizumi looked up from his hands and allowed his gaze to fall on Makki. He and Mattsun had headed straight home once they'd been separated after the ambush. "I'm going to skin them alive. What was he thinking?" He didn't move from his spot on the sofa, this wasn't his business. 

"Hiro, none of us had time to _think_. He put us before himself, that's that." 

"No, Matsukawa. _No_. You're better than that." 

There was no mistaking Mattsun's flinch. Mad Dog had been taken by the CCG inspectors after throwing himself between Bokuto and two of them. It had happened so fast, Iwaizumi didn't know what came after that. 

"Hiro, please. I'm sorry." 

"That's pathetic. You're pathetic. I'm going to-"

"Makki." Iwaizumi spoke up, staring at his friend. The ghoul stared back before returning his gaze to Mattsun. He was still bloody, despite healing. And he looked _tired_. More than usual, anyway. Makki seemed to soften almost instantly. His hands rose to rest against his cheeks. 

" _I'm_ sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to take him." 

"We'll get him back, Hiro." It was a promise that Mattsun wouldn't break. 

"I know." Their kiss sealed the promise. Iwaizumi excused himself to the bathroom. 

\--

"Iwaizumi-san, are you okay?" Iwaizumi glanced up at the blonde who had spoken. He offered her a small smile before nodding.

"Hi, Hitoka-chan. I'm fine. I'm just distracted." Iwaizumi had distanced himself from the Tree since the plan-gone-wrong. Since then, he'd had too many thoughts swimming around his head. 

"Can I get you anything?" She asked, biting at her lower lip as she waited for his reply. He simply shook his head and was about to answer when the door bell chimed. Iwaizumi's gaze fell on the tall brunette. His heart sank. 

Oikawa.

They were still on edge. Everyone had heard about what had happened at Cochlea - the last thing Iwaizumi needed was for the regulars to put 2 and 2 together. He pushed himself away from the table and closed the gap between them. Oikawa almost tripped at the abrupt stop. "I thought you'd be here, Iwa-chan." 

His breath caught in his throat and he wanted to scream. It had been so long since he'd been called Iwa-chan that he hadn't even realised he'd missed it. And the sound of Oikawa's voice, sweeter than honey. "I was actually just leaving." 

"I'm not staying, anyway!" Oikawa's soft tone was replaced with annoyance - genuine annoyance, not the fake kind like when Iwaizumi would poke him. "I just came to tell you my big news." 

He stopped attempting to get Oikawa to walk to the door. "What news?" 

"I've been promoted." 

Iwaizumi had seen Oikawa's skills a few weeks ago. But this was still a surprise. 

"Well Iwa-chan, that's all. Stay safe!" 

And like that, he was gone. 

Iwaizumi stared at the door, and he wondered if it was as hard for Oikawa to walk out as it was for Iwaizumi to not chase after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This didn't make sense towards the end I apologise.


	6. Crashing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All hail dialogue chapters!!! I wanted to move the plot along. Also introducing practically every missing HQ char!!!

"Things need to change around here. My father was pleased with our efforts, but it's not enough."

Oikawa looked up from his hands, gaze resting on the chair of their meeting. Keishin Ukai was still young, for a CCG inspector. But his face bore scars, and his eyes gave the impression that he was at least ten years older than he was. Stress and trauma had not been kind to him and Oikawa tried not to think about ending up that way. Keishin's eyes scanned over the rest of the attendants in the room before landing on his partner, Ittetsu. 

"From the attack on the Cochlea, we can only expect that another is imminent. We mustn't let our guards down, but keep building them up!" He spoke with authority, holding the attention of everyone in the room. 

It had been two weeks since Cochlea and this was Oikawa's second meeting since being promoted (the first one actually discussing his promotion). He was surrounded by inspectors with thrice the experience and knowledge of himself. It was intimidating, but he was determined to push himself and meet their abilities. 

He knew all of the inspectors by name, but hadn't had the pleasure of meeting at least half of them. 

There was Sugawara and Daichi, two inspectors who he was incredibly familiar with. Beside them sat Yaku Morisuke, one of the Special Class Inspectors. He was quiet and his expression never gave anything away. But he'd also heard that Yaku was deadly if you got on his bad side. Next to Yaku was his partner, Lev Haiba. Lev was also a Special Class Inspector. He was the complete opposite to Yaku. Loud and fidgety, covered head to toe in scars that followed a certain pattern. Each line met with one another, some redder than others. Oikawa had already noticed that Yaku was the only one who could bring Lev out of his short phases of what could only be described as insanity. 

A blonde named Tsukishima Kei sat beside Lev, and seemed to be leaning as far away from the latter as he possibly could. His face held a scar down the left hand side that was almost as unattractive as his permanent scowl. Oikawa was still deciding which he disliked more. And then there was Ushijima Wakatoshi. A sombre inspector. He rarely spoke, unless it was to put a stop to Tsukishima's mocking words. 

And then there was himself. New and practically inexperienced. He'd been promoted thanks to a recommendation from Daichi and Sugawara, who were more than pleased with his progress and natural ability during the fight at Cochlea. 

"We're outnumbered - constantly." The reply from Tsukishima was bored and bitter and Oikawa swore he could feel the man's hatred towards ghouls simply from the words. "They breed like rabbits, and we're killed like sitting ducks." 

"We have to be rational, Kei." Sugawara spoke up, entirely focused on the blonde as he addressed him. "They didn't leave unscathed and they no longer have the element of surprise. Plus, we also captured one of them and he's being questioned." 

"Sugawara is right. We've already doubled the security at Cochlea, and we've managed to identify them-" Daichi started.

"Through their goddamn masks, not their actual faces." 

"Tsukishima, respect your superiors." Ushijima scolded. 

"Plain-chan, Fang-chan, Cat-chan, Wannabe Clown-chan, Owl-chan and Slim-chan." Oikawa spoke without his own consent, words spilling from his lips as he recalled the ghouls he'd seen on the night of the attack. "I know their masks - I can easily pick them out in a crowd." 

The whole room had turned their attention to him, and he couldn't tell if the look on Sugawara's face was excitement or distress. Perhaps a bit of both.

"You gave them names?" Lev chortled, leaning across the table, arms outstretched and palms flat against the wood surface. "Like little pets that we can cage. It's brilliant!" 

"Lev-kun, sit back, you're in the way." Lev did as he was told, sliding back into his seat. "Knowing what we're looking for is much easier, Keishin, I have to admit." Yaku shrugged.

Oikawa's gaze fell on their director, and he felt his heart quicken as he waited for a reply. Keishin's face twisted before softening, and a smile spread across his lips.

"Then we'll triple the security. Tooru - pick a team. You're assigned to locating your pets. Meeting adjourned." He stood and left the room, Takeda following after bowing to his colleagues. 

Oikawa felt excited and nervous and everything in between. He would have his own team. He glanced at Daichi and Sugawara, who were both practically beaming. He was certain it was the first time he'd seen Daichi smile at anything other than Sugawara. 

\--

Makki had been on edge since Mattsun and Iwaizumi had returned from the Cochlea incident. He'd been unable to focus on what he was doing, mind running over the fact that they'd messed up. Through no fault of their own, their plan had _failed_. Which had led Makki to believe he had to do something about it. It was rarely that the Clowns ever did anything for or with the Tree, but this seemed like one of those times that was just necessary.

"Gahhh, come _on_ , Hanamaki, this isn't our fight!" Nishinoya hadn't been best pleased with the news that Makki had given him. "I'm not gonna put my neck on the line for your boyfriends." 

Makki felt bile rise in his throat at Noya's words and he leaned back in his chair, eyes never leaving the younger ghoul's face. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Nishinoya." He replied, tone as blank as his expression. "But the next time you want us to spare your precious human's life, I'm personally not going to hold back." Makki was in no mood to deal with shitty brats being rebellious. That was how he looked at it, anyway. His exterior around the Clowns was different to that he wore around Iwaizumi and Mattsun. For the Clowns, he had a part to play - he had a reputation to uphold and he was a leader. 

Nishinoya bared his teeth before he seemed to think about the threat. He tore his gaze away from Makki's. 

"I'm with you, Takahiro. All the way." Michimiya chimed in, her hand falling to rest on Makki's shoulder. He offered her a smile. She was very similar to him - reserved when she needed to be but ultimately, matched him in his eccentricity. 

"That's what I agreed to when I joined up. I'm here to stand by your side. I trust in your decisions, always." Ennoshita didn't move from his spot on the sofa, the only movement he made was to turn and nod his head at Makki. 

"We're the shadows, remember that." Makki stated, pushing himself to stand. "And as always - we will have the last laugh." 

\-- 

Iwaizumi hadn't stopped thinking about Oikawa since the very brief chat they'd had at Kuroo's the other day. After he'd left, Iwaizumi had rushed to make the Tree aware of the change. He didn't know what it meant, but he'd felt like it was relevant information at the time. Iwaizumi was now stuck with the thoughts of 'what, why, when and how'. The communication between the two of them hadn't gotten any better, if anything it had deteriorated even more. 

Iwaizumi took his phone from his pocket to check if there'd been an update in that department. There hadn't. He was contemplating making the first move when Kuroo swiped his mobile from his hands. 

"Focus, Hajime." He hissed, tossing the mobile onto the kitchen counter. It landed with an audible thud and Iwaizumi felt irritation flow through his body like the blood in his veins. "Oikawa is the fucking enemy, please can you act like it for once?" The words weren't meant to be harsh - Kuroo was right. Oikawa wasn't going to stop killing his kind if Iwaizumi asked, so why should he mull over it? 

He stood slowly, joining the rest at the kitchen counter. "You're right, sorry." 

Kuroo's expression softened only slightly as he went back to talking about the Tree's next steps. 

"We've lost the element of surprise so Cochlea is off limits. I've managed to round up a couple of friends who have beef with the CCG, they're willing to back us up in our next movements." 

"So what _are_ our next movements?" Bokuto asked. He was riled up, Iwaizumi could tell, hands clenching and unclenching as he waited for Kuroo's explanation.

"We wait for them to make theirs. If I were a CCG inspector, what would I do?" 

"Cut us off at the starting point." Akaashi input, running a hand through already tussled hair. Iwaizumi felt his frustration. The attack on Cochlea had been completely out of their control. Sure, they had every intention of attacking it in full at some point, but they're really just been trying to scope out the weak spots. It wasn't their problem that the CCG had muscled in and made it more chaotic than necessary. 

"So we just wait? Like bottles on a wall?" Bokuto was clearly irritated even though he settled when Akaashi pressed a hand against the small of his back. "For how long?" 

Iwaizumi zoned out of the conversation as Kenma started explaining the reasoning behind the plan. He returned to his spot on the sofa, joined by Mattsun.

"You know Oikawa will be with them, right?" He said, voice barely audible. Iwaizumi nodded. Of course he knew Oikawa would be there. There was no chance that he'd get promoted right after Cochlea and then not be asked to join a team. Iwaizumi didn't understand the CCG, but he understood how rankings worked. 

"Whatever happens, happens," Iwaizumi whispered, resting his head against the back of the sofa and closing his eyes. "I just hope it happens quickly."


	7. Stalling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the massive delay in updating. I've been going through quite a bit of personal stuff and my writing muse has been at an all time low. Hopefully I'm out of that rut and can start updating sooner!! 
> 
> Also enjoy a tiny implication of IwaHanaMatsu sin .o/
> 
> I'm really sorry that this chapter is so sucky.

"Do you think Iwaizumi will be okay?" 

"Wh- are you seriously asking me that? Right now?" 

"I'm concerned, Mattsun!"

Mattsun let out a sigh, admitting defeat as he leaned his head against the inside of Makki's thigh. The latter glanced down at him, already propped up onto his elbows, a lazy smile playing on his lips. 

"You do look good down there, though." 

"Iwaizumi will be fine." Mattsun responded, ignoring Makki's words and turning his head so that he could press a gentle kiss to the sensitive area of Makki's thigh. He smiled as the smaller male shivered in response to the kiss. "You always worry - he's always fine." Another kiss. 

"Issei, stop that. Come up here." His voice was almost a whine. Mattsun gave up, shifting from between Makki's legs and settling into his space on the bed. "Thank you." Makki kissed his lips softly, turning his body so that he could face the other male. 

"You gotta give him more credit, Hiro. He's a smart guy, you know?" Their fingers were laced, an action that had become habitual many years ago. Most of the things they did were that way, though. "Oikawa's been an inspector for what, almost six months?" It was probably longer but Mattsun was sure the only person counting was Iwaizumi himself. "Iwa knows the repercussions better than anyone else."

"Well I know that, but what if he can't kill Oikawa? If it comes to that and he just... can't?" 

Mattsun honestly didn't know what would happen on that siutation. Personally, he had never questioned Iwaizumi's loyalty. But he also knew and understood what it was to care for someone with every fibre of your being. Mattsun tried not to think about the 'what if's. They only resulted in anxious hearts and nervous thoughts. So he chose to be blunt instead.

"Then he can't, Hiro." Mattsun wasn't going to attempt to sugar coat it for Makki. The latter didn't seem best pleased by the answer, though, a scowl forming on his features. "Look, Maks." Mattsun sat up slowly. "Stop worrying yourself with things that _might_ happen. I know you want to protect him, and I know you like to be in control of these things, but you can't. Not for this." Makki sat up too, looking like he was about to protest before Mattsun pressed a finger to his lips. " _I_ will protect him with my life, Hiro. Please don't doubt me." 

Makki looked pained for a moment - whether that was at the idea of Mattsun thinking he doubted him or that the words 'my life' were used - but his expression soon softened and he lightly pushed Mattsun's hand away so that he could press their lips together in a bruising kiss. 

"I love it when you get all protective." Makki's voice was almost a purr as he broke away from the kiss. Mattsun chuckled, practically feeling the serious conversation melt away into the walls. He pushed Makki back down onto the bed with gentle force and returned to his previous spot between the other's legs, instantly dragging his teeth over Makki's thigh, creating fresh bites where previous ones had healed. 

\--

Iwaizumi had never been a shut in, he'd never locked himself away from the world and refused to speak to anyone. There was nothing he loved more than being outside, whether it be on a nice quiet walk or an outing with friends. He'd always found it impossible to sit still. 

So the fact that he had barely left the comfort of his bedroom after the post-Cochlea planning said a lot. He'd venture out for food every now and then, but there was no conversation at these meals. He knew he was being unfair to both Makki and Mattsun, but he couldn't bring himself to speak to them. 

They were both still concerned about the repercussions of the latest attack, and when those repercussions were matched with the worrying news stories lately - which bragged about the increase in Ghoul arrests and the newly improved security systems they apparently had - well it was enough to put anyone on edge. The CCG were out for blood, and they didn't seem like they'd stop at anything to get it. Iwaizumi had decided his whining about a human with opposing alliances wasn't the top of their priority list. 

He turned over in his bed, reaching his hand forward to pluck his cell phone from the bedside table. Three messages? Iwaizumi sat up almost instantly, unlocking his phone and clicking onto his inbox. 

One was from Makki, sent 3 hours ago, asking him to join them for dinner. The second was from Kuroo, sent 30 minutes ago, simply reminding him that his presence was required at Nekoma Cafe on Saturday. And then the third was from Oikawa. 

It was sent 20 minutes ago and simply read **'Ghoul activity close to home - stay safe Iwa-chan~'** He felt his chest tighten as he stared at the words on the cracked screen. How he wished he could reply with a simple confession, stating that he was one of the ghouls causing activity. He wondered if it would change anything. He highly doubted it. He quickly tapped back a reply, but deleted it. Iwaizumi returned his phone to the bedside table and settled back down into bed. 

It didn't take him long to drift off into an uncomfortable sleep. 

\--

When Iwaizumi ventured out of his room during the night, he hadn't expected to see Makki curled up on the sofa with the television on. There was no sound playing, but he could see that Makki was awake. 

"Hey, Makki, you alright?" Iwaizumi's voice seemed to make him jump and he turned his head to meet Iwaizumi's gaze. There was a sleepy smile on his lips as he nodded. Iwaizumi joined him on the sofa. He didn't protest when Makki repositioned himself to sit in his lap.

"You've been such a stranger, Iwa." Makki whispered. The words cut Iwaizumi like a knife, and he felt his stomach flip. He hadn't meant to be that way - he'd wanted to give Makki and Mattsun some space. "We miss you." The tone of Makki's voice was deeper than usual, words clearly holding more than one meaning, and it sent a pleasant shiver down Iwaizumi's spine. 

"I'm sorry." Iwaizumi mumbled, arms snaking around the back of Makki, gently tugging him closer. Makki complied, closing the already barely there gap between them. He pressed a light kiss to the corner of Iwaizumi's mouth. 

"You're forgiven." 

And that was it. Makki pressed his lips roughly against Iwaizumi's, who didn't even have to think about returning it. His hands dipped beneath the flimsy material of Makki's shirt, cold hands pressing against hot skin, dragging out a light moan in the process. It wasn't until the moan from Makki reached his ears that Iwaizumi realised that he _needed_ this. He needed some sort of release - with someone who would take it ten fold. 

Makki deepened the kiss, arching his back as Iwaizumi dragged his nails down Makki's back. His breath caught in his throat as the taller male's hips bucked against his own, creating a pleasant yet uncomfortable friction between them.

"Come to bed, Iwa." Makki breathed against his ear, bucking his hips again for good measure.

Iwaizumi didn't need much more encouragement as he allowed himself to be pulled towards his roommates' room.


	8. Fleeting

Oikawa had gotten over the initial nerves of having his own team almost instantly. After the meeting, he'd gone over the files, the skill sets, the weaknesses, of his potential recruits. He'd pinpointed where they'd be good, who they'd work well with and whether they would be beneficial or detrimental to the cause. Even if the cause was just attempting to locate his 'pets' (a term he still found disgusting, but had grown to accept). 

He'd chosen Sugawara and Daichi, because they worked well as a duo and also knew how Oikawa worked himself. There'd be no room for stepping on toes in that sense. The next on his list was Yaku and Lev - although potentially difficult to control they both seemed like they'd get the job done. The last recruitment was Natsu Hinata, a fairly new inspector who was brought in especially. Oikawa hadn't seen her work, but if the recommendation had come from the head of the CCG, it could only mean good things. 

"The last attack we had to deal with was by Nekoma cafe. We managed to apprehend a ghoul there last time but he's not cooperating." 

"Nekoma cafe? Isn't that in the 20th Ward?" 

Sugawara looked up from his notes, nodding once at Oikawa. "Do you know it?" 

Oikawa chewed at his lip, tracing his finger over the words in his file a few times before nodding his head. Of course he knew it - it was the place he'd seen Iwaizumi last. The cafe which made the most amazing coffee and employed the friendliest people. He felt sick thinking about Iwaizumi being so close to ghoul attacks. 

"Well good - it's a good thing you're in charge, then." 

Oikawa knew it was meant to be a boost, but he couldn't shake his uneasy feeling. He'd been there a few times, even without Iwaizumi. He knew that it meant going to the cafe, sans the niceties, in order to drain information. 

"Wait - what was the name of the ghoul who was captured?" 

The urgency of his tone was noticeable enough for everyone in the room to stare at him. He didn't pull his gaze away from Sugawara, though. The latter looked troubled, but calmly pushed a file across the table. Oikawa flipped it open. 

His blood froze at the face staring back. 

\--

"What the fuck was he thinking?" 

"He wasn't, clearly." 

"That's not good enough, Matsukawa."

"Don't speak to me like I don't know that, Iwaizumi." 

Iwaizumi stopped pacing to stare at his friend. Matsukawa, usually calm and collected, was glaring at him, his eyes dark. Iwaizumi swore that if looks could kill, he would be well and truly fucked. But despite the stern nature of his words, Matsukawa's voice was still calm. That was the scary thing about his friend at this moment in time. 

"You're right, I'm sorry." 

"I understand your relationship with my boyfriend, Iwaizumi. Please respect mine." 

Iwaizumi shrunk beneath his words, well and truly feeling like some kind of scolded child. This side of Matsukawa was terrifying - it was the side that was usually reserved for the Tree. He didn't speak again as Matsukawa tore his gaze away and disappeared into his and Makki's bedroom. He tried to put away his own personal feelings for their mutual lover. This was bad for Iwaizumi, but he couldn't even begin to imagine the sheer pain Matsukawa was feeling right now. 

This morning Iwaizumi had been woken up by Matsukawa, who'd had a call from Michimiya to go over what had happened. According to the clown, Makki had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and then he'd been cocky about it. Which definitely sounded like his friend. The one thing that they struggled to understand was simply how Makki had been captured. He wasn't a dumbass, not really. He knew the ins and outs of the Ward, and he was far too slippery to go without a fight. 

"I think Makki had every intention of being caught. I just wish he hadn't done it so close to home." Matsukawa's voice was deadpan, his previous expression now returned to the normal, bored look he usually wore. The suggestion didn't calm Iwaizumi, though, it only served to make him even more uneasy. He wanted to ask why Makki would do such a thing, but he wasn't about to question how well Matsukawa knew their roommate. 

"What do we do?" 

"You can do what you want, Iwaizumi. I'm going to make myself some coffee." 

And he did. He walked to the kitchen and started to make coffee. Iwaizumi stared at him, every ounce of urgency draining from his body. If Matsukawa was no longer frantic (in his own way) then he shouldn't worry either, right? That was apparently the decision his body made as he slowly joined Matsukawa in the kitchen. 

\--

"Are you ready to talk yet?" 

Makki eyed the inspector who had entered the room. He was different from the one this morning. This guy seemed to have a calming nature, one that - to Makki's dismay - made him relax slightly. The inspector took a seat across from him, linking his hands together and resting them on the table. His face held a smile, one that seemed to reach his eyes. Close up, it was more unnerving than relaxing. 

"We just want to know how many of you there are." The man said gently, unlinking his hands and placing them both face down on the table. "Tell us and we'll reward you for it." 

Makki didn't know what they could possibly reward him with. He shrugged his shoulders in reply. 

"You have the ability to make this as painless as possible. Why don't you?" 

Makki stared at him, really stared. His gaze ran over the other male's face, the expression which was soft but still held sincerity. The scars that spread over his cheek but failed to make him scary. The way he held himself, the gentle movements of his hands.. it was _delicate_. CCG Inspector and delicate were two words that Makki would never put together. He'd make the exception in this case. He leaned forward slightly, as much as his binding would let him. 

"I'll tell you a secret, if you tell me your name." 

He didn't miss the slight sparkle in the inspector's eyes, the slight smug change to his smile as he thought he'd broken Makki down. 

"I'm feeling nice today - you can call me Koushi." 

Makki grinned - and it grew when the smug look on Koushi's face fell. 

"Are you ready for the secret?" He felt a rush from the broken frown on the inspector's face, and bit at his lip as he received a curt nod. "I _love_ pain." 

The twisted frown on the inspector's face was well worth the surging pain in his arms as his bindings were pulled too tightly. 

\-- 

He didn't know how he felt about the call he'd received from Oikawa. On the one hand, it was wonderful. He hadn't spoken to his best friend for weeks, probably months now actually. But the unmistakable panic in Oikawa's voice told him it wasn't a make up dinner. Oikawa had been adamant that they met somewhere completely different from their usual spots, which was why he was stood outside of some battered garage, waiting for a guy he hadn't seen in weeks. 

"Iwa-chan! You look good." Iwaizumi smiled without permission as Oikawa got closer to him. He wished he could return the kind words, but Oikawa looked like shit. There were marks beneath his eyes which he hadn't even attempted to cover up. The cuts he's seen on Oikawa's neck and cheeks in previous meetings had turned into scars which only made him look more endearing. He'd made the effort with his clothes, but Iwaizumi could see that he'd lost weight. The familiar tailored button up was floaty instead of figure hugging. It was painful to see. 

"You too, Oikawa." 

He saw the eyeroll, but Oikawa didn't argue. "Can we just go for a walk? I'm not very hungry anymore." 

Iwaizumi nodded - grateful that he didn't have to pretend. "Sure." 

And they walked. Oikawa fell into step beside him, Iwaizumi stole glances. They were both silent until they reached the park, and Oikawa turned to him. He looked so tired and Iwaizumi wanted to demand he go to sleep, he wanted to take him home and take care of him. He wished they could go back to the way things were before the CCG. 

"Hanamaki is a ghoul, Iwa-chan." The words cut through Iwaizumi like a knife. He felt winded suddenly, despite only being stood still. Of course Oikawa would know that Makki had been captured. Of course he'd warn Iwaizumi - someone who had been close to the ghoul in question for the majority of his life. But what could Iwaizumi do? 

"Oh." Fucking brilliant. Oh. Super. 

"You don't... seem surprised, Iwa-chan." Oikawa frowned, wringing his hands idly. "Did you know?" 

He could feel his entire world collapsing around him. He could feel years of friendship and love and everything in between being torn apart and thrown in the dirt. The blood roaring in his ears made it difficult for him to focus. The burning in his cheeks made him dizzy. 

"You knew..." Oikawa stepped back, Iwaizumi wanted to pull him closer. "You knew what he was and you've stood by and let him..." Oikawa looked disgusted. Iwaizumi heard his voice break, could see the tears in his eyes and falling down his cheeks. "You're friends with filth." Oikawa whispered. 

"Makki is not filth, Oikawa." 

"And you're just as bad." There it was. A knife through the chest. "I'm done - with whatever this is." He waved his hand between them and then raised it to wipe aggressively at his eyes. Iwaizumi didn't move. He didn't attempt to argue, he didn't step closer and try to wipe away the tears he'd caused like he usually would. 

He didn't stop Oikawa as the other male turned and walked away. 

But he felt all the pain in the world when Oikawa's slow and steady steps fell into a run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so very sorry.


	9. Rising

Takahiro Hanamaki was a proud person, contrary to what his friends thought. As leader of the Clowns, it was his job to maintain a sense of control - whether it was real or not. He had, over time, built up an ability to bottle up all of the stress, pain and anxiety, and lock it away. He had somehow managed to find ways of being in control of even the smallest detail. Occasionally, he used this to manipulate others into doing exactly what he wanted. In short, Takahiro Hanamaki was a force to be reckoned with. 

But as he sat in his cell, body aching from overexertion and a serious lack of healing ability, he felt everything but control. 

He had always been a lover of pain - it was the one thing which made him feel closer to humans. When he'd told the inspector days ago that he enjoyed it, he hadn't thought about the repercussions of being in a holding cell which all but stunted his regeneration. He wasn't broken, but he sure as hell felt that way.

He shifted to stretch his legs out in front of him as he heard the now familiar sound of the cell doors opening. He'd been visited so many times by Koushi and another inspector, that he'd grown used to sounds of their footsteps. The ones he heard now didn't match either. 

"Hello, Hanamaki." 

It wasn't often that Makki was taken by surprise - but to be met with the face of Oikawa Tooru, well, he'd allow that small shock. Makki swallowed thickly as Oikawa entered the room. 

"Oikawa." Makki forced out, a small nod following. Oikawa responded with a bright smile before taking a seat on the floor in front of him. The only thing stopping Makki from pouncing and devouring him was Iwaizumi. The ache in his stomach, his chest - that wasn't pain compared to what the look on Iwaizumi's face would be if he ate his damn boyfriend. 

"It's a shame to see you looking so pitiful. I imagine you'd be one of the strong ones on a good day." Makki had always thought of Oikawa as pompous - someone who didn't deserve the sort of love that Iwaizumi had to offer. And the fact that he was here now didn't make Makki think any differently. He looked so smug, as if he knew that Makki wouldn't attack. "I always thought that ghouls were mindless killing machines..." Oikawa was staring at the floor "But I can almost feel the battle you're having internally. About whether or not I'm worth killing." As Oikawa met Makki's gaze, he grinned. 

Good. If Oikawa could just grasp that ghouls were only trying to live, that they actually did know how to live like humans, think like humans, maybe he'd have him on side. "There's no meat on you, anyway." Makki hissed. 

Oikawa chuckled, clasping his hands together and resting them in his lap. "I was always a little wary about the company Iwaizumi kept - I knew I should've gone with my gut." Makki caught the break in Oikawa's voice, and the wobble as he pushed himself to his feet. "But! Today is a good day." Oikawa placed his hands on his hips, grin so devious it made Makki's insides hurt. "Today we get to see how your weapon works." 

\--

_"We are still unsure of how many casualties there are but we can confirm that at least six ghouls were released from Cochlea today after an attack which stemmed from inside of the detention centre. Inspectors have been rushed to the scene to attempt to bring some order to the situation. Back to you at the studio."_

\--

"He escaped?" 

"Yes, sir." 

"What- how?!" 

"During his weapon examination - he killed 3 in the lab..." 

Oikawa couldn't believe he was hearing the words. He couldn't believe that the broken mess of a ghoul he'd spoken to early that day had managed to find the strength to do such a thing. It didn't add up. He ran a hand through his hair, chewing at his lower lip. 

"Natsu, get the rest together. I know what we have to do." 

"Yes sir - and, another thing..." 

Oikawa froze as he waited for Natsu to finish her sentence.

"The other prisoner is gone, the one from the last attack. Yahaba-san is nowhere to be seen, either." 

The words held no tone of shock, and Oikawa himself didn't feel panic rising in his chest like he probably should have. He waved Natsu off and she left quickly. Since they'd captured the wild ghoul at Cochlea and put Yahaba in charge of him, he'd noticed a change in the inspector. It wouldn't surprise him if his prisoner had managed to manipulate him into helping. Yahaba was a good inspector - but anyone who spoke to him knew that this was the last place he wanted to be. Oikawa's main priority was Hanamaki. Despite the metaphorical zipped lip, he'd let some things slip. Cocky things, like how he was leader of some grand cause. From his dreary conversations, Oikawa could only imagine how powerful Hanamaki truly was. 

As much as he hated to even think it, their next move was Nekoma cafe. He tried not to think too much about who would be there - about who he'd shared kind words with, who he might add to his kill list. They were disgusting, still, but Oikawa wasn't heartless. 

\--

It had been raining all morning and it didn't seem like it was letting up even as it got way past dinner. Iwaizumi had opted to stay inside, watch the news and the updates about the escape at Cochlea. He'd avoided Kuroo at all costs since their last conversation. It had been a shouting match, essentially. Where both he and Mattsun had defended Makki within inches of their lives. In the end, Kenma had pulled them all apart and told them they were being ridiculous. Nobody argued after that. 

The images that flashed on the television were repetitive, now. Cochlea had increased their security and there were interview with the head of the CCG, claiming it wouldn't happen again. Some threats about the current status of the ghouls inside the detention centre and how the reckless actions of one ghoul had condemned them - something like that. It was all very dramatic and over exaggerated and Iwaizumi was purely watching now in case Oikawa flashed on the screen. 

The CCG were scarily silent, however, in terms of their activity around the 20th Ward. If Oikawa hadn't been a part of them, he wouldn't have been concerned about them knowing their whereabouts. Makki had told them about the meeting with the inspector - about the threats and the taunting. Iwazumi was sure he'd left out a lot of the pain, for Mattsun's sake. 

He didn't know how long he'd dipped into sleep when he was rudely shaken awake. "Iwaizumi - we have to leave." It was Mattsun's voice, vaguely panicked, that was yelling at him. He blinked away his sleep and pushed the hands away from him, standing quickly (almost falling over in the process). 

"The CCG have taken Nekoma - it's burned to the ground."


	10. Concluding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major character death.
> 
>  
> 
> We made it!!! We're at the end!!!! Thanks for sticking around and I hope you're all okay. 
> 
> Pls watch this space for Part 2. This is not the end~~~~~

There was no plan. They hadn't expected an attack, so they'd had no need to set up a counterattack for it. It was the first time that Iwaizumi had seen the Tree genuinely worried. Kuroo was devastated, and in turn that made him aggressively angry. Nekoma had been his life - he'd saved up to buy the space and he'd spent years making it his own. It had always been a safe haven, where both ghouls and humans alike could meet and go about their days. To hear that the CCG had set it alight had the same effect as telling Kuroo that Kenma was in trouble. 

They hadn't discussed much - it had been a simple order of 'take no prisoners' and then they'd been shooed out of the apartment. They were dressed for fighting, masks equipped. Iwaizumi could already feel the tingling in his lower back, nerves from the promise of a fight. 

Oikawa would be there, Iwaizumi had already known that. There was no way that he wouldn't be - not after all of this. He probably saw this as his own battle. After the revelation of Makki's lack of human-status. Oikawa was the type to grasp onto things like that. 

There'd been no starting point for the fighting. As soon as the Tree had rushed in, it had commenced. He caught sight of the Clowns, of Kiyoko. Tobio and Shouyou were amongst those fighting against. Iwaizumi's gaze finally settled on Oikawa. To see someone he loved with every ounce of him looking so worn out and out of his depth, it hurt. Without a second thought, he launched himself towards the brunet, kagune unsheathing and drawing around to shield himself. He heard and felt Oikawa's quinque make contact, and let out a groan as he was pushed back. 

"Oh! Plainface-chan, hello." Oikawa sounded excited - it was unnerving. And what was Plainface-chan meant to mean? He couldn't dwell on it for too long as Oikawa drew another blow of his quinque. Iwaizumi barely caught it, but managed to push the other male back with one of his blade-like tentacles. Oikawa grunted, but was back within seconds. 

The blows came fast, and Iwaizumi kept up with the quinque's hits as fast as he could. The four blades of Iwaizumi's kagune constantly creating a shield around his body, pushing back against the CCG inspector. Oikawa's hit started to slow, and Iwaizumi could see his chest heaving from exhaustion. 

"Don't you know any other tricks, ghoul?" Oikawa breathed out. Iwaizumi's kagune acted without total permission, forcing the taller male back with a built up amount of force. Oikawa hit the floor and he didn't get up.

\--

It was raining again. Makki was already beginning to feel aching in his joints and the cold seeping into his bones. He was balanced perfectly on top of a lamppost, the perfect place for him to check on the rest of his team, as well as Mattsun and Iwaizumi. Everything was blurry, though. The way the rain came down hard made it difficult for Makki to make out the faces of anyone. 

There were a lot of officers - more than Makki had expected there to be, truthfully. It didn't seem like this needed to be a big battle. But then - the CCG were proud. And his escape had made them look like idiots. Of course a lot of it was down to Mad Dog himself, who had somehow wooed his handler enough to wing a release. Makki being there had been a coincidence - considering his intention had been to release Mad Dog anyway. 

He wondered if Yahaba, the inspector who had helped them to safety, was okay. If he was safe at home or if the CCG had located him. Makki couldn't imagine they'd have welcomed him with open arms, though. He squinted as his gaze flickered between each of the people below him. He could vaguely make out Koushi and the other inspector he'd been seen by. They were fighting back to back, bodies perfectly in sync as they fought off oncoming ghouls. He caught sight of Kiyoko as she threw herself towards the middle of them. They split apart, but Kiyoko wasn't phased. 

Makki tore his gaze away as he saw the familiar shine of Iwaizumi's kagune. His friend was racing towards a crumpled mess on the floor - a mess that he could just make out as Oikawa. Makki's heart dropped, and so did he. He ignored the ache in his knees as he touched the ground. 

\--

Oikawa was alive - but he hurt. He felt like he was burning from the inside out. His arm felt limp, and he could feel blood pooling at the side of his head. He managed to force himself to sit up, just as he saw the ghoul running towards him. Panic spread through his body, the idea of being killed right now by a ghoul with an unimaginative mask - he couldn't deal with it. Especially when he thought back to the conversation with Iwaizumi. "You're too stubborn to die at the hands of a ghoul". They were true, he was too stubborn. 

He gripped his quinque as tightly as his hand would allow him to, and drew it forward. He expected to hear blade against blade, but was instead met with the sickly sound of a blade meeting flesh. The noise was accompanied by a low growl, too guttural to be classed as a scream. Oikawa opened his eyes, only just realising that he'd been closing them tightly. He was met with the sight of the plain masked ghoul on the end of his quinque. 

\--

His first instinct was to grip at the blade that had pierced his chest. It felt hot, but he didn't know if that was just because his hands were cold. He could feel his body attempting to heal, RC cells working around the intrusion in his chest. Oikawa had shifted now, hand still gripping the end of his quinque. Iwaizumi dropped to his knees. 

"Run, Oikawa." 

There was a knowing look on Oikawa's face, and then a frantic hand attempting to pull away his mask. 

“Iwa-chan?” It was like he’d been stabbed all over again. He hadn’t heard those words in so long. He hadn’t seen Oikawa for what seemed like forever.

Iwaizumi forced a smile, even though his skin felt on fire as Oikawa's hand began running over the his face, brushing away the blood which was spilling from his mouth. Oikawa's eyes were wide with two parts shock and one part fear. It was clear as day for someone who knew Oikawa like Iwaizumi did. 

“T-thank you.” Iwaizumi choked out, leaning into Oikawa’s touch as he cupped Iwaizumi’s face in his good hand. 

Tears were falling from Oikawa’s eyes, but he made no attempt to wipe them away. 

It was like the fighting was no longer happening, like they were the only two people in the clearing. 

“Iwa-chan, I’m so sorry.” Oikawa whispered. 

"I f-forgive you." Were Iwaizumi's final words as he slumped against Oikawa's body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm truly sorry.


End file.
